Posts

Flight of Beauty 

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So one of my original CPAPman super powers was seeing beauty. As I was flying over the Rockies I look to my left and see this:
Then realize what I’m looking at so I capture this:
Snowmass, Colorado where it all began. Where I became a man. Or more correctly, where I left my childish things behind. So I land home in Grand Junction and see some beauty that I had seen the year before not long after becoming the C-Man:Makes me wonder. Are the flowers becoming more and more beautiful or is my ability to appreciate their beauty continuing to grow? I think it the later. Seeing the beauty in an Iris is one thing, I am hoping grow the ability to see the beauty in everything. Now that will be a superpower that just might save the world!

Cmen

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Still sporting bobby-pins and still scoring 8 hours a night of blissful, restful, recuperative sleep a night. Truly a miracle. Has been a while since I posted here as the C-man, months. Been focusing on my latest blog www.ipraytoGodmysoultokeep.blogspot.com another miracle in this new life of mine. But, that will wait!Had dinner with the original Had dinner with J. He got me on CPAP because it changed his life. It has undeniably changed mine also. We both agree it would have undeniably saved our father from his horrific demise. The end.why did I cut it short? Because I wrote this damn post three times and every time it deleted itself as I finished. The back story of the Cmen will have to wait for another episode. In fact, it may have to wait indefinitely as I just realized what a horrible name the Cmen is, seriously bad. If you don’t get it just say it out loud. CPAPmen doesn’t ring either, maybe stick with the Beef Brothers or Beef Bros. 2.0 ok maybe the worst post ever and it will b…

Simple fixes 

Cman discovers the power of simple. With a few bobby pins he is saved from despair. A small repair saves him from the fall. The beauty of small. The sound of being still. The motion of silence. Night after night he sleeps well. He breathes. He rests. He grows. He knows what he has never known. He needs very little. The world needs no superhero. His world is. Perfect. His strength is his weakness. His power has come from the parts Him that were weak. That are weak. His broken heart was not ever broken. It was open. It was broke open. It was not made to feel less. It was opened and felt more. His feelings made him strong. His sensitivity made him super. His fragility gave him a special ability. His humanity was revealed and it was gentle. It was loving. Giving. It was real. Has purpose. Is in itself self evident. Being. It is enough. Human being. Now that he could breathe while slept. Now that he woke from sleep and not from the dead. He woke to life not dread. He woke with Insight. Wit…

Bobby pins

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My previous post was short and distressing. The Cman sounded desperate as his super powers were fading. The CPAP mask was not working. In fact, it was causing sleep depervation. When the mask pops loose it's pretty dramatic when, pit-issssh sssshhh, compressed air starts spraying into your eye and it is a very disturbing way to be woken up. Between sleep deprecation and repeatedly giving up on the CPAP in the middle of the night and suffering from apnia. Cpapman was lost. His last act was to call out for help in the form of a blog post. Fortunately his alter ego "the man" never runs from his responsabilities as a dad, even when not sleeping or suffocating when he sleeps. Shortly after Cpapman's call for help the Man was desperately trying to get his youngest daughter ready for ballet. Struggling with the dreaded bunn when the solution crawled into his foggy and muddled thoughts, bobby-pins. Bobby pins of course. Could the solution possibly be so simple and inexpensiv…

Time for some help

I need a new mask or new headgear or something. When the pressure picks up at night the Velcro pops loose and I have a blowout and in my sleepy frustration I give i up and shut her down. Do something Cman! Don't loose them gains!

Mindfulness, Heartfulness and Soulfulness 

I shared a Mindfulness excersice with my nine year old daughter

The Power of Gratitude

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It's been a while since I've felt like posting as CPAPman. A lot of the gifts I've received since starting to breathe while I sleep have begun to feel quite common place and normal. What a shell of a human being I must have been prior to becoming The C-man if seeing beauty and clear thinking felt like some kind of supernatural power. Been almost a year since my diagnosis of sever sleep apnea. The benefits of sleeping with my CPAP machine have been unbelievable, life changing, but still to this day I struggle with the mask. The nightly ritual of filling with water, relaxing with a book or blogging until I'm tired then strapping on the mask. Waking when the pressure cranks up and pops the mask loose and the loud high pressure stream of air leaks into my eye with a pitshishshshshshshsh. The struggle is worth it, but it is still a struggle. The nightmares that used to wake me all through the night when the apnea would get really bad are gone. More accurate is that I don…