CPAPmanLives

I am an empath. Always have been always will be. Now that I breathe at night while I sleep I have come to terms with what I am.  I feel what other people feel.  My big sister was deaf. She was raised in a "main streaming" program that was meant to train her to live a full life outside of the deaf community. My personal oppinion is that this program was bullshit, but I also must admit it worked.  Within the confines of this program we siblings were not allowed to learn sign language. My sister had to read lipps. As her little brother I grew up lip reading with my sister. We would talk to each other without using our voices. As adults my brother and I had difficulty using our voices with our sister, but we could lip away with her from across the room. As her little interprater growing up she would often look to me when she would miss what was being said and I would lip it to her. It was quite a parlor trick, but was really way, way more than that.  Now that she's g...

If you were to read #7 Insight, you may sense my apprehension in divulging the actual insight that inspired the post. It is terrifying to explore the deepest parts of yourself that lay hidden for good reason. I guess I have achieved a comfort level with my own unique kind of crazy and as CPAPman developed a level of understanding worth articulating.  Prescience is not a superpower. It was a curse actually. When some of my dreams or nightmares or memories would end upcoming true. When dejavue or coincidence or augury became so common place I had to ignore it to lead a somewhat normal life.  First, let me lay some ground work and background so this insight may be more easily understood. Secondly, I wish to say it plainly and put this thing to rest. pre·science [ˈpreSH(ē)əns, ˈprēSH(ē)əns] NOUN presciences (plural noun) the fact of knowing something before it takes place; foreknowledge: "with extraordinary prescience, Jung actually predicted the Nazi eruption" synonyms:...

Not only am I more able to love I am more able to be loved. Hate has been surplanted. Love has been planted. It bears the fruit of insight, mercy and justice. Looking back, I cut this one a little short. Love. What can I say about it. It's what makes life worth living. It is the force that keeps it all together. The ultimate power of attraction. I once wrote God is love or is it Love is God. How both are only possible when you are completely free to choose. Free to decide if even either exists. You can't see either one. But the works of both are immeasurable.  I think since becoming the Cman Love is again what it should be for me. A choice. When I was suffocating at night my life was a struggle. Love sustained me. God carried me. They woke me up in the middle of the night to save me. Through the fog of that life they guided me. They were the light in my darkened world. Without them I would not have survived. Now in the light of this new day I choose to pay them forward. I choos...

Believing the voice of my heart. Listening to the mind, body and spirit. Guided by my conscience and driven by my soul. Knowing, by Faith, what is right and good. By great Faith being in the right. In Faith doing what is good. For the sake of doing good. Believing in things that can't be proven. Having Faith in things that cannot be seen. What cannot be seen? Love. I believe in love. I have faith in love. To love. Being loved. It is the greatest force in the Universe. It is the power of attraction. It binds us and sets us free.  Faith is Love. What else cannot be seen. God. I believe in God. I have Faith in God. I believe nearness to God is heaven and absence of God hell. I have Faith he loves me. He loves me and set me free. Being free gives me the power to love. I choose to love God. I choose to have Faith. I choose to have Faith in God. 

Bravery is not lack of fear. Quite the opposite. It is the power to act in the face of great fear where being brave creates powerful courage. The more we act brave while when we feel scared the greater and more reliable our Courage becomes.

Optimism is the most important aspect of hope. I no longer dwell on the worst that can happen and strive to focus on the best. What is the best possible outcome? Hope allows me the required optimism to see a better future. A better tomorrow. A better later today. A better right now. Hope always seemed so futile. So foolish. Why set myself up for disappointment? 

I don't call this a superpower. Not yet. It could be the superpower if I ever master it. Insight. It came to me several days ago. I couldn't explain it to myself, I wasn't really sure what had happen. A small burst of energy in my mind radiating through my heart and touching my soul. It was wonderful. It was an idea. Or more specifically the coming together of many ideas. I don't remember the idea, but the effect on my mind, body and spirit were unforgettable. When the connection was made there was a rush of some kind of new energy and I became, for the lack of a better word, high. I had found meaning where previously there was none. A void of understanding was filled with something new to me. Insight. Two thoughts, two ideas, garnered from separate experiences, one old one new synergistically uniting to form new meaning. Illuminating understanding and inducing euphoria. I had gained insight. I had learned something very specially about myself and felt really really goo...